Lesson for Life #2 : Never be a Hired Goon

If comic books, movies, television and cartoons have thought us anything, it’s that hired goons/nameless henchmen always suffer the worst fates of all. Whatever about the main villains of the piece, these guys get a really raw deal. They don’t die with particular dignity or ceremony, and they don’t die for any goal or point. I mean, at least with the majority of Bond villains, they died at the hand of the best spy on her majesty’s service, having being foiled in their missions to blackmail the western world/destroy London with a nuclear missile/run smuggling operations and so forth. They weren’t shot in the back of the head while unloading a crate of stuff they didn’t own in the middle of the night for someone they’d never met.

Sure, from the evil villain’s point of view, it’s great. As C. Montogomery Burns puts it, “I prefer the personal touch you only get with hired goons.” Sure, it’s great to have henchmen do your bidding, but it’s not so much fun when you are the uncredited, unnamed, faceless henchman.

I’m not saying for a second that you need to enter a life of warmongering, embezzlement, extortion or general nihilistic terror. But, if you do choose that path, or on whatever path you do choose, stick to your principles. Set your own goals, do what you’re good at, leave your mark and keep your honour. Never be the hired goon when you can be the hero or the evil master.

Here are just a few examples of ‘goon hiring’ shows out there that back up my theory that it’s no fun being a hired goon:

1. The Joker’s Hired Goons, Batman.

Throughout the ages of Batman, all the villains have had henchmen to carry out their dirty work. Whether it’s being ambushed while unloading crates in the middle of the night, being shot by your boss, or being made to fight for your life with another hired goon with half of a broken pool cue as a weapon, being the hired hand of one of the Dark Knight’s enemies ultimately ends badly. I chose the Joker because his brand of master villainy in particular places little value on the lives of the hired help. From setting all his goons up to kill each other on a bank job, to making former mob gorillas fight for a place on his goon-roll, to ramming a pencil through the head of a member of the mob, Joker constantly comes up with new and creative ways of undermining his workforce and the workforce of other Gotham criminals. Even with these tactics and the low morale of the Gotham scumbags, he still managed to get all of the Gotham mob to shift allegiances to his side when he became the main man of Gotham. And they had to wear stupid face-paint.

Lesson : goons are forced to work for psychopaths in risky conditions with very little job security. Embarrassing uniforms also a downside.

2. Doctor Evil’s Private Army, Austin Powers : International Man of Mystery.

Ah, the human, vulnerable side of the hired goon. In a few touching scenes in this spy spoof movie we got to see exactly how the families and loved-ones of a henchman are affected by the careless disregard for their lives by their employers, enemies and the writers of the films and books in which they feature. When one hired henchman is run over by a steam-roller, we witness the heart-wrenching phone call to his mother, and the moment when she has to break the knews to her young son, Billy, that his big brother, Steve, was run over by a steam-roller and would not be home to play catch with him. As if that’s not enough emotion for one film, another hired henchman’s life is senslessley and prematurely lost when he is decapitated by a tank of ill-tempered, mutated seabass. This news is received with dismay and shock by his awaiting stag party.

Lesson : Being a hired goon puts your loved-ones at risk of having their world torn apart, and because you’re of no consequence, neither will they be when you’re gone. You won’t be remembered, and neither will they when it comes to compo time.

3. The Foot Soldiers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The masked, trained foot clan that faced off time and time again against the heroes in a half shell worked for the evil super-mutant baddie, Shredder. At one point, Shredder considered making these highly skilled mercenaries a bit smarter, but he tried it with a prototype and it turned against him and tried to overthrow him. He realised that they should be deadly, but ultimately, stupid in order to serve him adequately. However, the problem with this was that they were all pretty much as thick as horse manure and ended up getting their heads kicked in by the turtles on every outing. It was probably better for them, in retrospect, that their faces were hidden. Getting your ass handed to you by 4 giant sewer turtles when you’re supposed to be a trained ninja soldier is pretty feeble.

Lesson : If you’re a hired goon, the man (in this case Shredder) will always try to keep you down. If he doesn’t think you’re worth it, no one else will. You’re setting yourself up for failure.

So, just what is it about the nameless, faceless soldiers who work hard, but ultimately have no goals that makes them such likely candiates for early retirement into the shark tank in the sky? Well, there is a lot to be said for fighting spirit. Some of these hired goons may be well-trained, but they just don’t have the determination and courage of heroes, or even of super villains. Their cause isn’t their own, and it shows in their work. Don’t let that be you.

As famous British spy Nigel Powers says to a henchman of Dr. Evil in Austin Powers, Goldmember:

Do you know who I am?

Henchman: [nods] Nigel: Have you got any idea how many anonymous henchmen I’ve killed over the years?

Henchman: [nods again]

Nigel: I mean, look at you. You don’t even have a name tag. You’ve got no chance. Why don’t you just fall down?Go on son.

[henchman falls down]

There you have it really. The guy with the charisma, wit and confidence overpowers the goon. What a surprise. It’s all about mentality. If you see yourself as a goon, others will too. And it’s not just in the world of crime of doing the work of evil, but in all walks of life. Would you want a goon doing your taxes? Would you want a goon teaching your kids spellings and algebra? Would you want a goon being president of the United States? (That may be a weak example.) But still, there’s nothing cool about being a hired goon. Stand tall, don’t work for anyone whose name starts with ‘The’ or contains the word ‘death’, don’t wear a mask and don’t let it happen to you.

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight was always going to be exciting. It was going to be big. I knew that. We all knew that.

 

I went to a screening of it on Wednesday and, naturally, the theatre was packed out. The hype had been building up around the film for over a year. Originally this was because of the success of the first movie of the trilogy, Batman Begins. Christopher Nolan had executed the introduction to Batman/Bruce Wayne expertly. The Dark Knight was then tantalisingly advertised, with limitied snippets and glimpses at what was in store being dangled in front of film and comic book fans like pieces of meat.

In January, as the flurry of excitement began to subside, a new kind of stir and air of anticipation was created around the film. It was no longer the fanatical anticipation of explosions, gadgets, violence and the ultimate vigilante superhero. This was a feeling that the film was something more. It was still the most anticipated sequel of the year, but now, it was special in a way that could not be compared to any other film in recent times.

When Heath Ledger tragically died in January he had completed all his work on the Dark Knight as the Joker, and the world held its breath in a mixture of shock and anticipation of what was whispered about as his masterpiece.

Unavoidably the Dark Knight became Heath Ledger’s film; his epithaph.

 

The feeling in the darkened cinema theatre on Wednesday night was one shared by the 400 people filling the seats. This had to be good. We’d all been sucked in by the frenzy, the excitement, the whispers of brilliance. We all wanted it to be great. Before the projecter jumped to life there was an odd feeling that what was about to come at you via the cinema screen was more than just a film. It was something precious, that you weren’t sure how to handle. It was strange to me, but as an avid movie fan and cynic by nature, I had never felt like this before seeing a film I had been looking forward to.

And I felt it. I felt it all around. The projecter started. There were hoots. Really.

I was worried that the tragic story of Ledger’s death would cloud my judgement of the Dark Knight, but I have to say that everything about the film blew me away. (I will use the word brilliant quite a bit as I run out of adequate adjectives.) There is no doubt that it is Ledger’s film. He portrayed the Joker with chilling perfection. It is ironic that what made it easier for me to overlook the hype surrounding the film due to Heath Ledger’s unexpected death was the quality of his own performance. Throughout the film, from the classic Batmanesque robbery to the unforgettable introduction of the Joker to the Gotham City mob to the manically hilarious hospital scene, Heath Ledger becomes the Joker. The stunningness of the transformation made it feel that you were not looking at a talented actor and valuing his work, but at a psychotic villain. The chilling thing about the Joker in the Dark Knight is that he appears free from all traces of humanity and empathy. The character is the most frightening kind of villain : he has nothing to lose, nothing to prove and does not care about the world anymore. Everything is a game, a jest and in the Dark Knight this is played out with poetic brilliance.

The worry with a performance so convincing and so strong as Ledger’s is that the other characters pale in comparison. This was not a trap the Dark Knight fell into. The attention paid to each character by Nolan is what balances out this film. The interplay between the characters as the story of the billionaire vigilante superhero unfolds is what makes this film more than just a comicbook adaptation. Having told the story of how Bruce Wayne came to be Batman in Batman Begins, Nolan was able to make the most of the characters and the action in the Dark Knight.

The inner conflict of Bruce Wayne between his duty to the people of Gotham and to the memory of his parents and his love for childhood friend Rachel Dawes and his wish to hang up his cape and be with her is a constant motif throughout the film. The pairing of Wayne with the personalities of the characters around him emphasise this battle in a way that sneaks emotion and heartbreak into this action-packed film without it lapsing for a moment or feeling in the least bit forced.

First off, in terms of the chivallrous knight in the film, we have the contrast between Aaron Eckhart’s Harvey Dent and Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne/Batman. Dent is the idealistic Distric Attorney who is in a relationship with Rachel Dawes (portrayed, significantly less annoyingly than by Katie Holmes, by  Maggie Gyllenhaal) and Bruce Wayne is the billionaire who is a crime fighting vigilante by night and for that reason cannot live a life in the open with the love of his life, Dawes. If he hangs up his disguise and gives up his role as the dark knight of Gotham, they can finally be together. In Wayne’s vision for Gotham, Dent will take over from him as the white knight; as Gotham’s legitimate saviour. The inverse nature of the the roles of these two characters in the plot of the film frames the action in a subtle but effective way.

The theme of justice vs. revenge addressed in Batman Begins is continued in the Dark Knight. When Bruce Wayne sought to vindicate his parents’ deaths in Batman Begins, Rachel faced him with the difference between justice and revenge. It was this lesson that set him on the path of the superhero in the first place. In Harvey Dent we see a handsome, idealistic lawyer who wants to see the best in Gotham City and its inhabitants. He is in love with Rachel Dawes and his whole future is mapped out in front of him. As he slowly begins to lose faith, hope and everything he holds dear we see his character transform into a darker individual and we see what can happen when a good man loses everything and takes things into his own hands. The glimpse at what may have become of Bruce Wayne had it not been for his friendchip with Rachel and what has happened to Harvey Dent because of his relationship with her is very interesting. 

In terms of a dramatic foil to the character of Bruce Wayne, the Joker is the striking opposite and yet, oddly similar match to the billionaire superhero. The conflicted conscience of Wayne is what makes his character so complex. Everything about his morality prevents him from crossing over to the dark side, yet it is the same humanity that stops him from abandoning Gotham City in pursuit of his own happiness. His skill and power as a superhero obviously catches the attention of the menacing Joker, who sees crime as a game. Everything about the Joker is villainous, and all humanity is absent from the character. The closest we see to humanity is when the Joker toys with those he preys on or intimidates by brandishing his knife and telling the story of the origin his facial scars. But even this is part of his twisted game as each story differs based on the scene which is playing out at that time. The empathy free, psychotic spree of the Joker is in stark contrast with the conscience heavy, duty bound pursuits of Batman.

Yet, as the Joker points out, the two are oddly alike in the Gotham underworld. They are ‘freaks.’ They hide behind masks and operate below the realms of the law-abiding and the public. The Joker uses this tactic in his game to tempt Batman over to his side, but soon realises that the vigilante is not for turning. It is in the weakness of Harvey Dent that the Joker eventually has his finest hour.

All I’ll say is that the encounter between Harvey Dent and the Joker in the third act is one of the best scenes I’ve scene on the big screen in a long time.

Ultimitely, the nature of the characters and the intricate nature of the storyline means that this is a whole lot more than just an action movie or a comic book movie. But, lest we forget, it is still an action movie. In the Dark Knight though, there is no danger of forgetting that this is a super hero action film. From the suspense ridden scenes orchastrated by the calculating and manic genius of the Joker to the introduction of the awesome Bat Bike to big explosions and cool special effects, this film delivers on the action front. It has it all.

 It is dark, moving, suspense-filled and with cool special effects to boot. Beyond any doubt, it is the Joker’s movie. Heath Ledger’s performance is quite simply iconic. Even still, the strength of the other characters means that it doesn’t overshadow any of them and none of the story is lost.

The Dark Knight is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.